Day 30 of 30 Days On Dads: Find Something In Every Day

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Here we are at the end of the “Father’s Day-Month”.

First, I can’t believe that I was able to write some kind of blog post for 30 days straight. I hope this has created a great habit that I’m going to keep up in the very near future.

Second, and more importantly, like anything you practice for 30 days, it keeps it at the top of your mind. In this case, looking for the special moments each day with my family to blog about brought a new appreciation for my wife, children and my role in our family unit. I really hope it has become the same way for you.

Each day, we can easily become caught up in just living. So with kids, it can really become about the destination over the journey. Before we realize it, they are gone out of the house, and you are now wishing they come over more often to visit or hoping they call to catch you up on the latest happenings in their life.

Yea, life is funny that way.

So from this day forward, please try to take at least 15 minutes, to enjoy the journey.

Visually, enjoy the fact that you can see your children, for you may lose your eyesight and they may have to lead you around.

Enjoy the taste of the meals you have together, and how it’s not the food that makes the moment, but their company. One day, those family meals may only be once or twice per year (if the current trend of moving far away from the immediate family continues in America).

Enjoy the smell of your daughter’s hair when she hugs you, as one day, she will belong to another family and her love will belong to another man.

Enjoy the touch of the hands that grow more each time you hold them when you all pray. They start out so small and delicate, but soon you’ll notice your son’s hands get larger and more callous as he gets closer to manhood and leading his own family.

Enjoy hearing, “I love you Daddy” and hearing them scream your name with jubilee as you come home. One day, that house is going to be empty and that dog that greets you wagging the tail is nothing compared to the memory of hearing those words from the beautiful faces looking at you after a day of getting beat-up on the job.

Yes sir, that’s why June should be Fatherhood month. Because if we could just focus on our family for 30 days, that would develop the habit of remembering they come first over sports, jobs, and outsiders.

That’s the kind of family environment I’m hoping to create, how about you?

CSD

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Day 29 of 30 Days On Dads: Video Interview With Henry Aaron’s Dad, Herbert Aaron

I am going to re-post for today, because this is a classic.Enjoy!

Henry Aarons Dad

#ThrowbackThursday: Hank Aaron’s dad

Posted: Jun 13, 2013 5:29 PM EDTUpdated: Jun 25, 2013 2:22 PM EDT

By Cody Chaffins, FOX 5 Sports reporter-producer

In honor of Father’s Day, I decided to pull out a 1982 interview with the parents of Atlanta sports icon Henry Aaron.  The interview conducted by Bill Hartman in the Aaron’s home, was just before Hank was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

There are so many things to love about this video.  The joy on Estella Aaron’s face when she talks about her boy, you just know that the honor is just as big of a thrill for her as it was for Hank.

Then we hear from Herbert Aaron.  His sound bites are just what you’d expect from a dad.  He first talks about how he was able to keep Henry out of trouble growing up in Mobile.  The way he says it, you know that there has to be a few great stories of how he had to keep in the Home run King in line as a child.  Then Herbert says something that melts your heart.  He’s not just excited that Hank is headed to Cooperstown, but almost more tickled that his wife will be there to witness it.  His wife, by the way, would not only be well enough to experience the 1982 Hall of Fame Induction, but she’d go on to live another quarter-century before passing away in 2008.

I really like how he heaps credit on his wife for raising their right children and seems to play down the fact that he was out trying to find work during tough times in the 1930’s.  Gotta love dads.

-Cody

To see the video, click HERE

Source: http://www.myfoxatlanta.com/story/22586803/throwbackthursday-hank-aarons-dad

Day 28 of 30 Days On Dads: Lesson From Dr. Martin Luther King

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Martin Luther King Jr, with Father & Son
Photo by Richard Avedon
1963

In an essay written in 1950 by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., he wrote, “I guess the influence of my father also had a great deal to do with my going in the ministry. This is not to say that he ever spoke to me in terms of being a minister, but that my admiration for him was the great moving factor; He set forth a noble example that I didn’t mind following.”

What an honor it would be for me if my children could say the same thing one day!

May this desire be yours as well dad. It’s one thing for the kids to follow our path because we coerce them, but it’s completely another for them to choose to follow our example out of desire and nobility.

CSD

Day 27 of 30 Days On Dads: Jock Culture Claims More Victims: Aaron Hernandez and Ausar Walcott

I didn’t plan on doing a post on this topic, but I can’t let this one go by. Former Patriots Player Aaron Hernandez At Attleboro District Court

Former (because the Patriots released him a couple of days ago) New England Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez, is charged with the first-degree murder of 27-year-old Odin Lloyd, a semi-pro football player whose body was found in an industrial park about a mile from the home of Hernandez.

Charges Against Aaron Hernandez (Source: espn.com)

Charge Counts
First-degree murder 1
Carrying firearm w/o license 1
Poss. large-capacity firearm 2
Poss. firearm w/o FID card 2

But a lesser known story, because of timing and lack of notoriety, rookie defensive end/linebacker Ausar Walcott was charged with attempted murder, second-degree aggravated assault and third-degree endangering an injured victim, in Paterson, N.J.. Like the Patriots, the Cleveland Browns quickly cut Walcott as well.

While we should not expect athletes to be less deviant than any other part of society, it is very surprising when we think about all that the athletes have to lose, namely money and freedom – both present and future.

The term “jock” is defined as:

2. Sports An athlete, especially in college.
3. Slang One characterized by excessive concern for machismo.
Therefore, “jock culture” could be defined as social behavior patterns of males involved in athletics, that is what many would call hyper-masculine. Testosterone run amok.
The social behavior patterns in that world plays by different rules in its subculture than the rest of society. For example:
– in sports, men get what they want, when they want, if they are the best on the team
– in sports, men are allowed to act in violent ways between-the-lines, that if done off the field, ice, stadium, would land them in jail (the aforementioned Ausar Walcott is learning this now)
– on that note, top athletes from high school to the pros, are often above the law as crimes even outside the game, are often “swept under the rug” by local law enforcement, the league, or even fellow players.
Walcott
Those are just a few examples, but they certainly aren’t exclusive to only jocks, but any person with fame or notoriety amongst their peers.
In October 2009, the USA Today reported on Hernandez who was then a tight end for the Florida Gator’s, and wrote:

“‘The difference between the impossible and the possible lies on a person’s determination’, reads another of his father’s favorite quotes on Hernandez’s arm.

When Dennis Hernandez died at 49 in January 2006 after complications from routine hernia surgery, his then-16-year-old son’s world was shattered…

Hernandez played in every game his freshman season, starting three, but off the field he was still reeling.

“It was a rough process, and I didn’t know what to do for him,” Terri says. “He would rebel. It was very, very hard, and he was very, very angry. He wasn’t the same kid, the way he spoke to me. The shock of losing his dad, there was so much anger.”

Says D.J., who is three years older, “He was just lost.”

Meyer stepped in when he realized a good kid was headed down the wrong path. “Urban became his father more or less and the team was his family,” Terri says.

Every morning, Hernandez arrived at Meyer’s office at 7:30 and read the Bible with his coach.

One day in February 2008 when Hernandez was struggling, Meyer met with him at noon in his office.

“It was a 10-hour meeting. We finished at my house at 10 o’clock. Then it continued the next day,” Meyer says. “When your guy, your idol, your soul is taken from you, how do you deal with that? I just think there’s a part of his life that was not there. He needed discipline; he needed someone to talk to.

Details are few about Dennis Hernandez, but the man sounds like he made some kind of impact on Aaron’s life. So much so, that Aaron was never the same when his dad departed this life.

I’ve asked dads reading my blog this question, and I will do it again, would the family miss you if you were gone? I’m not talking about your income, because your wife can fill those shoes herself or find someone else to fill that void quickly if necessary if you’re honest enough with yourself. But can your presence be duplicated? I hope not, I hope you would be missed if you were gone. You’ll be missed because all that you’ve taught them cannot be duplicated.

My heart goes out to all involved in the above cases. More is yet to surface about Ausar Walcott and I have no clue about his immediate family. I hope his dad is still around and can reach his son, because he is going to need him at this point in his life.

If you’re the father of an athlete, be just as vigilant against sports and jock culture from taking your boy, as you would with “the street”. Currently, my family isn’t too popular with coaches because we refuse to play on Sunday. Not because we feel God is going to be mad or something as we have freedom to honor God on any day, but because that is the day we attend church and spend time together as a family. Athletic games and practice have Monday through Saturday, but they are not having access to my family and disrupt our time every day of the week.

Why? Because when our kids have been influenced more by jock culture than Cool Pappa’s culture, they’ll do what they always do…cut ’em and plaster their indiscretion all over the news, not needing him on Sunday’s any more.

Aaron Hernandez may have learned this one if he’s guilty, because his Sunday’s will be spent making money for the prison industrial complex and not himself for the rest of his life.

Source: espn.go.com

Day 25 of 30 Days On Dads: What Never Giving Up Is Really All About

Photo taken at: Creation Museum
Photo taken at: Creation Museum

In this morning’s bible study, we looked at 1 Samuel 27-28. We noticed that would-be King David seemed to have switched sides, and he became a mercenary for the Philistines. His faith seemed to have finally collapsed as King Saul’s pursuit seemed to have finally worn him down.

In chapter 28, King Saul was so desperate because he thought God was giving him the complete silent treatment and desired direction, that he sought advice from a witch. Both men seemed to have finally become frustrated with God and decided to try their own plan.

However, if you don’t know the ending,…”spoiler alert”: David would later be called a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), and King Saul would be killed. Like Judas, King Saul had one last moment to turn from head-strong plunge into sin while David, who would fall many times after this incident even, always seemed to get back on the repentance track and turn toward God’s mercy.

There’s a lesson for us in there CSD’s.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but I’ve always tried to never give up and basically say, “Well, I’m doing plenty of wretched things, so I might as well be the best wretch I can be.” But how about you? Have you ever thought you’ve done something so unforgivable, that you felt like there’s no way God could forgive you? Maybe your wife/husband didn’t forgive you, your kids didn’t forgive you, or others you’ve offended didn’t forgive you, but God is merciful and will forgive you. Sometimes people have to wait and have “change” proven to them. Kids may not ever forgive, especially when the father is at fault (double-standard in effect here, because mom’s can do just about anything and be forgiven by kids, see my post on D. Wade here), but that cannot change you.

I don’t want my kids to make mistakes early in life, like I did, like David did,  and just feel like that act defines them or their future. King Saul allowed his mistakes to define him, he ruined his life, it cost him his life. Don’t let it happen to you either Dad. Before you go to bed tonight and/or when your feet hit the floor in the morning, be determined to make a fresh start and put those mistakes just where they belong, in the past.

 

CSD

 

Day 24 on 30 Days On Dads: Teaching Our Kids Not To Be Lazy

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This morning during our family bible study time, we covered Proverbs 24. Verses 30-34 really jumped out to me, as I thought about how lazy I am today and definitely was as a young man.

30 I went past the field of the sluggard,past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment; 31 thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. 32 I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: 33 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— 34 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.

We all have 168 hours per week and as Todd Henry says in his blog post titled, Do You Really Need More Time?, he writes:

“Each of us has 168 hours in a week. If you spend 8 hours per day sleeping (generous!), and 10 hours per day (x 5 days) working/commuting, and 2 hours per day eating, that leaves 48 hours per week for discretionary activity.

48. Two full days.

4 hours per day every single day for family activity? No problem. Now you have 20 hours left.

5 hours per week for hanging out with friends? Now you have 15 hours left.”

(I highly recommend Todd’s podcast and blog)

So, how are you spending yours?

One thing is for sure, I know my kids could really define whether I’m actually busy or not.

So what do you think about this verse? Does it describe you? Whether it does or not, are your children developing any of these bad habits?

 

 

 

 

 

Day 23 of 30 Days On Dads: Best “Late” Father’s Day Gift From My Kids – They Got Baptized

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Today, my 14-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter were baptized.

While baptism alone does not save one’s soul, it is still a tremendous moment in the life of a Believer as they follow the example of Christ in Matthew 3:13-17 and his command in Matthew 28: 19-20

3:13 Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. 14 But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”

15 Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

16 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

28:19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

What impressed me at our current church is that kids just can’t get baptized by saying, “I asked Jesus into my heart and now my life is super-cool and people love me…”.

Yes, I’ve heard my share of those testimonies in past churches and all I can think is, “Just wait kid, when the pull of the world (e.g. premarital sex, illegal drugs and getting drunk) comes knocking hard…Jesus may be in your heart, but you better know him as the keeper of your salvation during those times!

But my kids had to articulate the gospel and share their testimony weeks before getting baptized. I tried to stay out of the whole process and let them say/write their own confession of faith. What they wrote really made me proud and this was truly the best Father’s Day gift I could have heard and received. I will share with you My Lexi’s testimony, and I’ll post up the Large Professor’s soon as well.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, as some things are truly worth crying about:

“Hello my name is “My Lexi” (changed for this blog post of course). Life before I believed in Christ was okay, but I did not understand what they were talking about in church. I wanted it to be broken down for me. So I woke up almost every morning, and I would have Bible study with my brother and my dad before he went to work. I learned a lot about God every time we had Bible study, and we still do it today. Then one day, I was in the car with my dad, and we were talking about God. Then I decided to become saved. So I prayed to God that he will forgive me of my sins, because I know that I’m a sinner, and I know that Jesus died on the cross to cover my sins and rose three days later. That was when I was 9 years old, and now I’m 12, and God has helped me since then. Now I want to get baptized, because I want to show people that I want to follow in Christ’s footsteps.”

Day 22 of 30 Days On Dads – Buying High-Priced Sneakers: I Understand The Problem and Insanity, But Parents Are The Solution

Folks, watch the video below and let me know what you think.

If you are spending over $100 for some fashionable gym shoes/sneakers and you’re one paycheck short of a care-package, then you are a sheep. Sorry, but it needs to be said.

Parents, if you are buying these shoes for your kids and

a.) you can barely afford your own mortgage/rent/car note

b.) you are one paycheck short of a care-package

c.) you don’t want your kids “teased” because they don’t have the latest and greatest

You are a sheep as well.

Dave Ramsey says it all the time, “Learn to live like no one else, so one day you can live like no one else.”

But you know what? My generation is to blame! We made Jordan’s the shoes to have and I guess we see why we screamed foul and for help when the collapse of the housing market pulled our pants down, exposing us to the reality that we owned, excuses me, GOT LOANS for houses that we should not have purchased, had car loans that we should not have had and a host of other depreciating material possessions that we are willing to pay top dollar for because we can get the credit.

Maybe gym shoes/sneakers are the “gateway drug” for over-consumption?

NkeCostThe above was found in 1995 as part of the Just Don’t Do It Campaign at the University of Michigan. I have a feeling that since that time, the cost to consumer portion has gone up much more than the cost to Nike or the retailer.

So what “value” am I missing here folks? Check out the video the show on sneakers that aired on ESPN’s Outside The Lines titled, “Sneakerheads” Buying And Selling High-End Sneakers, and let me know in the comments below.

I gotta say though, at least that kid in the video had a plan and may be making a profit, but what about those of you who have them just sitting in the closet, ready to donate next year when that outfit is out of style or no longer fits? You’ll likely be working for that dude in the video one day, but you’ll also be putting his kids through college while you’re buying sneakers from his store.

I have one word: BAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sheep

Day 21 of 30 Days On Dads – African American Fathers & Baseball: The Future Depends On You

I was listening to a tremendous interview with Sociologists Dr. Harry Edwards (the podcast can be heard here) where he broke down some reasons for the decline in African-American baseball players. Later, I had a conversation with a friend and we discussed the lack of fundamentals seen in little league today. 

So take a look at the following chart created by sabr.org:

BlackBaseballDemographics1

Does anything surprise you?

What surprises me is the fact that according to the statistics, in 2012, African-Americans made up 7.2% of the MLB players. But in 1958, 11 years after Jackie Robinson broke the modern color-line in major league baseball (there were previously African-American’s in baseball, see here) there were 7.4%!

That’s right fans, major league baseball has the same percentage of African-American players as it had during the heart of American civil rights struggle as schools were still choosing to close their doors over desegregating.

This certainly deserves more of an in-depth study than what I’m going to do today, but I want to begin having the conversation and I want to first start with dads. Dr. Edwards has pointed out that unless we reach our boys (of any people group), with the sport of baseball by the time they are around ten years old, the likelihood of them picking up the sport is very minimal. Of course this gets compounded in the African-American community as they struggle with:

– lack of fathers in the household

– lack of funding for sports programs, especially baseball

– lack of secure playing field/area due to high crime rate in the neighborhood

– lack of finances to pay league fees and/or for equipment

– lack of interest due to popularity of football and basketball

– lack of fields that are in suitable playing condition (i.e. free of glass, high weeds)

– lack of investment by Major League Baseball (RBI Program excluded) in urban communities and lack of  marketing towards African-Americans.

Those are just a few issues off the top of my head and again, each deserves a study just to see if data backs up the observation.

But one thing for sure, as shown on this “good” commercial, dad’s can play a big part in reviving the game.

IMG_1314-w1000-h1000_new_WatermarkBroke-athletes

 

 

 

 

 

I remember kids who were tremendous athletes and loved basketball and football, but they could not catch a baseball nor did they know how to even hold a baseball bat. No dad was around to show them.

But this is where you come in and if you don’t have any children, teach another child.

Big Homie Working the Tee

So this week’s CSD Homework: Spend just 15 minutes teaching your son or daughter (or the son or daughter of someone else), how to throw a baseball, catch a baseball and hold a bat. That’s it. Even if you aren’t the greatest, or never liked baseball yourself, you likely know at least how to do those things because hopefully someone taught you or you learned it back-in-the-day before video games taught fundamentals.

Let me know how it goes in the comment section below!

CSD