CornerstoneDad Story of the Day, Brought to You By Jay Smooove

 

 

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Sometimes comments get overlooked, but Jay Smoooove shared this classic story that deserves a blog post on its own!

Jay commented on the CornerstoneDad Back-In-The-Day Video of the Day post, and if you missed it, read more after the jump.

Do you have a similar story to share, let us know. As our parents always said,

– “Boy, we broke the stick you trying to walk on.”

– “If it’s been done, I’ve already done it.”

– “I’ve written the book on what you’re trying to get away with.”

Yes, stories like this add validity to those classic statements…

Thanks again Jay!

“Parents Just Don’t Understand” is the second single from DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince’s second album, He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper.
Lyrics excerpt:

Oh-kay, here’s the situation
My parents went away on a week’s vacation and
They left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Would they mind?
Umm, well, of course not
I’ll just take it for a little spin
And maybe show it off to a couple of friends
I’ll just cruise it around the neighborhood
Well, maybe I shouldn’t
Yeah, of course I should
When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
I said, “I don’t have a license but I drive very well.

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My story, of course, isn’t nearly as good as Will Smith’s version. After all, his song won a Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance in 1989, and was one of only two songs to ever do so before the award was discontinued in 1991.
The parallels end somewhere around the part where our parents left town. Obviously, I didn’t take the keys to the Porsche, or the New Yorker sitting in the garage. I took the keys to the 1986 Dodge 400. I must admit, I was grip’in-the-grain rolling down the Lodge Freeway in my Mom’s ride. That was day one.

I had a little paper in my pocket, so the second day, I bounced to the mall.

The third day was my girlfriend M&M’s birthday. Need. I. Say. More!
You know I had to do it. I washed the ride, Armour-all’d the tires, put on my new threads, and dipped. I pulled up like the party was mine; Strolled into the joint like I was Mayor Coleman Young; Kissed my girl and gave her her gift; Paid my respects to her Mom; Dropped some mackish lines to a couple of girls I didn’t even know; Showed my cousin AJ some love. Then bounced like a true playa.

[Note: An automobile’s power to transform boys to men still amazes me to this day. I understand it, and I can appreciate it. So when I see vintage cars with 20” rims and candy colors, it’s cool. Until I see that the driver is over 40 – then it’s not.]

The fourth day was total recall. Now I had to undo everything I had done. The car was dusty before, now it’s clean. The car was full of gas, now it’s empty. Logic says wash off the Armorall, take the car for a ride through the hood to build up some dust, and finally get some gas on the way home. The problem with every good plan is that things don’t always work out, especially when you get greedy.

I’d gone three days of driving, with no license, with no drama, with no damage. But that wasn’t enough. I had to go downtown. And then the car overheated. I eventually made it back home, but my Aunt was waiting. I was busted. But my Aunt was cool, she didn’t tell. She didn’t have to. Apparently, when the car overheated it burned out the coils. So when Mom tried to go to work the next day, the car didn’t start.

My Mom still tells that story to this day, better than I ever could. How did it end, you may ask? Well let me finish with the last few lyrics from the song:

My parents walked in
I got my grip, I said, “Ah, Mom, Dad, how was your trip?”
They didn’t speak
I said, “I want to plead my case”
But my father just shoved me in his car by my face
That was a hard ride home, I don’t know how I survived
They took turns –
One would beat me while the other one was driving.

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